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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating enigma and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your decision to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {